Our Top 5 Things You Should Avoid Doing on a Cruise

So another cruise has come and gone and while we love cruising, there are just a few things that annoy the holy heck out of us every time. Here are just a few we compiled.

  1. Families and/or groups that insist on carrying walkie talkies all over the ship. You look like you’re conducting some kind of bumbled military operation. You can’t make plans to meet on another at a specified location like the rest of us? It’s a cruise ship people, by its very nature, it’s a confined space, and you can’t really get lost.
  2. Stop slamming the cabin door, drawers, or stomping. Underneath all of that carpet, leather, upholstery is a metal structure and guess what, yes, it transmits noise and vibration (We cannot be responsible for our conduct following a lengthy stint at the martini bar at night).
  3. Feasting as if you may never see food again or in a manner that resembles lions fighting over the last carcass on the plains in Africa. People, that nice gentlemen behind the breakfast station has more waffle batter, I swear, lots more, so relax, take a deep breath. Plus, you travel half way around the world, there are wonderful and varied restaurant options, yet you eat a hamburger or fried chicken at the buffet every day? Way to stretch your horizons moron.
  4. Pool conduct, sigh, where to begin. The most pressing issue is the time honored tradition of sending a family/group member at dawn to scout 16 chairs for the 30 minutes you and your group plan to be at the pool just after lunch (to sleep off your 3 hamburgers) and marking them appropriately with 3 towels each. I do appreciate the zeal at which you challenge someone like us that comes along, lies in one of your anointed chairs only after the pool butler has removed your towels due to inactivity.
  5. Excursions behavior is always something we cherish. Please read the excursion details and consider all of the elements. If you are perhaps north of 60 and the excursion summary clearly states “strenuous” and its July in Greece, there is a slight chance you are not going to be comfortable at all times.

Those are just 5 of the things that we wanted to point out to try to help current and future cruisers be more successful and less annoying cruisers. There is one more that we’d like to throw as just a bonus, consider it a gift from us. Please, consider very carefully your swim attire. Thank You.

Old Dude Speedos


If you have further gems or would like to comment, please do!

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